The Last Straw

I have been procrastinating since before the holidays, telling myself I will get on a healthy weight loss/exercise plan just as soon as Christmas was over. Then it was New Years. Somehow the entire month of January slipped through my fingers (too bad food didn't slip through my fingers, somehow I managed to hang onto every single morsel) and now I find myself here in February staring down Valentine's Day, and I've yet to begin this "plan" of mine. In all honesty, I don't really have a "plan", that could be part of the problem! I just thought I'd stop eating all that is bad and fattening and start walking, doing sit ups and all would be well again. This might have worked had I actually implemented it, but really, I need something more clear cut, in writing, no more bargaining with myself ("If I eat just one donut I won't have dinner for the next three nights.") that kind of stuff is what gets me into trouble. I'm a black and white person, I can't handle gray when it comes to dieting (in other words, I have no spine!). I think I have been reading this guys book for too long now.






As luck would have it, the universe appears to have been listening to me. I got my cosmic kick in the butt last night in the form of my jeans splitting on me. Yes, you heard that right! I threw on a pair of my favorite most comfy jeans and a very big hoody sweatshirt (belongs to Andrew, XXL). I've been dressing like this for awhile now, camouflage for the fat! (My irrational brain tells me that if I can't actually see the fat, it must not be there) That's mature, Lizzy! So, we trot off to Brian's basketball game and I had to work in the concession stand last night. While bending down to take something out of the oven I heard a ripping sound. At the same time I felt my jeans give way in the rear, and I knew what just happened. Fortunately, it's very, very loud in the kitchen and no one was standing near enough to me to hear them rip. The hoody that I was wearing was so long on me that it came down to mid thigh range, and thankfully no one could see my now exposed derriere and undies! Would have been extremely embarrassing had I been wearing a normal t-shirt or something, can you imagine?? UGH! When I got home and took off the jeans to survey the damage I was heartbroken! The way they ripped, or rather "shredded" there is no way to repair them, so into the garbage they went. This is really just the sort of wake up call I needed. It's not just one or two pounds that I need to lose. I got on the dreaded scale this morning (which I haven't done in quite some time) and nearly fainted. Standing at just 5'3" with a small frame, I am now (gulp) 136 lbs. For me, this is waaaaay too heavy. I am normally, at my healthiest weight when I am about 112 to 115 lbs. I haven't been this heavy since I was pregnant with Brian, and let's face it, he's 12 yrs. old, so it's not like I have "baby" fat to lose (more like Baby Ruth fat).

I am there now. I am ready to commit to some sort of a program. Whether I draw up a plan myself and follow it, buy someone's book and follow it, or get on a program like Weight Watchers, I'm there. I feel miserable. I feel unhealthy. All my clothes feel tight and uncomfortable. It is time! I'm doing this for all sorts of reasons, vanity, of course being one of them, if I'm being honest. But also for my health. I'm sure my cholesterol is probably high and my blood sugars must be all over the place, which is very hard on your body. This morning I had a bowl of shredded wheat cereal with a little milk and some coffee. As soon as I'm done with this post I'm going to go and walk on my treadmill for one hour and listen to some mood elevating music while I burn off a few calories. It's a start! Anyone else interested in joining me in this venture? Maybe we can weigh in once a week and keep track of how many times we exercise, etc.? I know I'd appreciate the company and support!

On this subject, I really have someone else (besides my Levi's) to thank for this motivation. If any of you read Stacie's blog, (and I'm sure you all do) she is doing a fabulous job with her weight loss program (Weight Watchers) and has already lost 10 lbs. in just a few weeks (way to go, Stacie!). You've given me hope, Stac, that I can do this, too! Thanks! Okay, people,...go forth and exercise!